Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Quick Video Game Review: Wrestlemania 21

Wrestlemania 21 was the last wrestling game for the original Xbox. It, unfortunately, leaves the system with a sour taste in the mouth of any wrestling fan. There were only 3 WWE games on the Xbox, WWF Raw, WWE Raw 2, and WWE Wrestlemania 21. None of them were very good, but Raw 2 has some wacky things you can do and the entrances are just long enough that you can use custom entrance music to some effect.

I may as well get to the point. Wrestlemania 21 is an utter disaster of a game. It is not even close to a finished product. The wrestling is no fun. You can win(or lose) a match based on knocking the opponent down once and then applying submission hold after submission hold until they are forced to tap out. The Heat Meter, a bar that fills with flames, takes far too long to fill to make finishers worthwhile, and you can usually pin your opponent long before that point. You don't even have to work an opponent's body part until it's red before a pin, I've gotten them with the worst damage being yellow. You have no control over your tag partner, but when the chips are down he will attempt a save. The referee is extremely strict about keeping the non legal partners out of the ring, and the game is so broken that when they go to leave the ring, they do not stand on the apron automatically when they leave, they step off it. You have to manually go back onto the apron. Switching between opponents in a multi person match is broken too, as you have to click down the right stick, which you also use for posing. You are more likely to do a slow pose, leaving you wide open, when you attempt the switch. There is no sense of smoothness or flow to the wrestling in the game at all. You just attempt moves until you get a pin or submission.

When you do win, you're treated to a horrible mess as the announcers attempt to say something and the logo flashes on screen to start showing a replay, but everything lags horribly as it attempts to load. Then you get a super generic cut scene of the winning wrestler(s) celebrating as their music plays quietly in the background.

The roster of the game was horribly out of date even for Wrestlemania 21. Where is Carlito, for one? The answer seems to be that this game was supposed to come out in 2004 along with Day of Reckoning for the Gamecube and Smackdown vs. Raw for the Playstation 2 based on the menu music and legends that are in the game. Despite being delayed, this game is by far the worst of the three. Also, the roster of male wrestlers is cut down in favor of having perhaps every single woman on the roster with the very odd exception of Christy Hemme. Having Trish and the girls who can wrestle is one thing, but putting Ms. Jackie in the game when she can't even come out with Charlie Haas is pretty pointless.


The one positive aspect of the game is the graphics. Wrestlers are big and well detailed, and show a fair amount of emotion in the proper contexts. If one braves the season mode, they will hear authentic voice overs as well. Unfortunately, the bit of the season mode I played put stipulations in front of you at the very last minute without using the cutscenes to tell you what you need to know. Early on, you need to beat a couple of opponents within three minutes for no particular reason. No one mentions the time limit until after these matches! If you aren't paying attention to Michael Cole while the match is loading, you have no clue until you look up at the time limit box.

Wrestlemania 21 is only going to be found used at this point. Gamestop had it for $12.99 US as of my writing of this. It's not worth that, it's not worth renting, it's not worth getting for free. Wrestlemania 21 is an unfinished game that perhaps could have been a decent one if it had more time, but as it is it stands as the single worst wrestling game I've ever played.

Random Wrestling Review: WWE Cyber Sunday 2007

All right, this will be a bit of an experiment for me. I'm going to talk about a WWE show I just saw on DVD. I have Netflix, so thankfully I don't have to buy all of these shows individually. I'm not going to go over these matches move by move, but instead give my overall reaction to it and the performers involved if I feel especially strongly about them. I'll also mention the stipulations since this is Cyber Sunday and to the fans vote for whichever one they like best.

First Match: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Fit Finlay
The stip ends up being a stretcher match. This one is short and violent. Finlay and Rey take turns using the stretcher as a weapon. I can't really enjoy Rey's matches as much as I used to, because I know his knees are so very bad just he insists on abusing them. Rey wins when he ducks an attack from Finlay and Finlay ends up on the stretcher just rolling past the line. Fast and dirty, and fun if you can deal with Rey abusing his knees.

Second Match: CM Punk vs. the Miz
Miz is the fan pick, so Punk doesn't get beaten(as he has been by John Morrison) or squashed like a bug by Big Daddy V. Miz sucks, that's all there is to it. This match is really nothing special, the only thing of note was a spot where Punk when for a crossbody off the middle rope and Miz was completely out of position for it, so Punk hit his thigh. Punk won the match clean with the Go 2 Sleep. Mercifully short.

Third Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Ken Kennedy
These two are the losers of the vote for the challenger for the WWE John Cena Memorial Spinner Championship later on. Match is nothing special with a really weird finish. Jeff had Kennedy sitting in a corner so he hopped off the ropes into a swinging dropkick, Kennedy rolled out of the way, and pinned him for 3. I think Jeff may have had his bell rung and couldn't kick out in time, but I'm not sure.

Fourth Match: MVP vs. Kane
This was a substitute for MVP vs. Matt Hardy after Mysterio's knee brace sliced Matt's head open. Remember when MVP sucked and Kane lit him on fire in the Inferno match? Now MVP is a very good wrestler, and so to protect him and his belt he loses by countout after Kane knocks him out of the ring. Nothing else terribly notable.

Fifth Match: Randy Orton vs Shawn Michaels for the WWE John Cena Memorial Spinner Championship
They really need to dig out the old WWE Championship, Cena's blinged out spinner belt looks ridiculous and it's not like he'll be getting it back anytime soon. This is the first really good match of the night. HBK and Orton have their working boots on. And Shawn has his rhinestone encrusted crosses on his chaps. Anyway, yeah, this match is really good, and the finish comes when Shawn goes for the Superkick, but Orton forearms him in the crotch for the DQ. Very safely, I might add. HBK sells like a champ, though, while Orton goes and sets up for the soccer kick of death, but Shawn gives him a taste of his own medicine and Superkicks him then. This is probably my favorite match of the card.

Sixth Match: Hunter Hurst Helmsly vs. Uuuuuuuumaga
The stipulation here is Street fight, so we have a 1999 style brawl outside the ring before things settle down. Triple H gets to pull out all the stops for his match, of course, so we have multiple chairs, the death of the ECW announcers' table, and of course, the sledgehammer. HHH wins with the sledgehammer assisted backhand and Pedigree of death.

Intermission: Diva Halloween Costume Contest
This is all so God almighty stupid. Throughout the PPV they show the girls in these dumb costumes. The sole highlight was Victoria as a sumo wrestler getting the Ron Simmons appearance of the night. Even Jim Ross buries it. Micky James as an Indian warrior wins it, for those who care.

Seventh Match and the Main Event: Dave Batista vs. the Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship
The show is in Washington DC, so Big Dave is over huge. Both guys work really hard and this is the second best match on the card for it. I'm not sure if it's better than the Wrestlemania match as I don't remember it that well. I think it would've been better to have a heel against Dave here instead of the Undertaker to take away cheers. After 2 loses and a draw, Bastista finally pins the Undertaker here with two Batista Bombs.

Overall I think this PPV was just average, nothing great. It's worth renting for HBK/Orton and Dave/Taker but nothing else is particularly good.

Friday, January 11, 2008

A First Post!

Hello! This is my first post of what will hopefully be many. This blog will discuss my thoughts on many things, mostly pro wrestling and anime.